Open up my head and see what's on my mind

A whole new perspective

2010-07-11T12:11:00.000-07:00

Redemption. It's not just a word to me, but something I truly believe in. I believe in walking through fire and coming through bandaged up, healing from the scars. I also believe in optimism. I suppose my belief in redemption is cloaked by the undying light of hope that optimism brings.When I started this blog I was in my late twenties. I had just gone through the worst experience of my life.

Rest in Peace

2010-02-01T19:37:00.000-08:00

I believe in second chances. I believe in third, fourth, and fifth chances sometimes, too. Sometimes people just need us to have faith that keeps hanging on.I'd grown indifferent over time. My anxiety over that day was left behind with my younger self. I was now old enough to understand that it was not him that day but a confused mind in his body. I'd been afraid of men for a while after that,

A New Day, New Year, and New Blog

2010-01-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

I've always been a big fan of New Years. There is such hopefulness embedded in it. It's a chance to start fresh and live the life we long for, though many of us don't make it past January in our quest. This year wasn't my worst year, not at all, but it was certainly a difficult one in the end. But with each difficulty I experience, I somehow come out a bit stronger. I'm choosing to use that

The Thieves

2009-12-12T15:46:00.000-08:00

"They're stealing from me."The sincerity in his eyes was the only communication that made sense to me."Why do you think they're stealing from you?"A woman walked by in mid-conversation with another. "Look at her. She walks by, pointing and laughing because she knows." She continued out the door, oblivious to his words."Grandpa, I think she's just a visitor now going home." He looked intently at

Wait, I have a blog?

2009-01-06T16:39:00.000-08:00

Oh yea, this blog is still around, isn't it? Well, a new year has come. Many people have taken the opportunity to talk about deep thoughts, weighing in on the upcoming changes in the American government, how they want to improve the world this year, and other such topics. Me? I was talking about celebrity gossip with my students. I mean, come on, the world is a crazy place, so we need to make

Gratitude and Thanks

2008-11-24T14:18:00.000-08:00

A note written by a student in a thank you card given to me last week (mistakes included):My lovely teacher!From the bottom of my heart, I want to say that you're the greatest teacher I ever have in my life. Since I have been in this country, nowhere makes me feel comfortable like your class, and nobody makes me feel warm like you. Thank you for all the good things you did.Thanks,(student name)We

Vote!

2008-11-04T14:03:00.001-08:00

Today is an exciting day. If you are an American citizen, please exercise your right to vote. I love election day when we're dealing with a presidential election. Such incredible energy. Can't wait to see how it all turns out!

Prop 8

2008-10-29T15:21:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday, the State of California will not only vote for the next President of the United States, but also on the issue of gay marriage. Proposition 8, if passed, will over-ride the recent California Supreme Court decision making gay marriage legal. I believe strongly in the freedom to think and feel whatever you want; however, I strongly disagree with infringing those ideas and beliefs on

A quiet practice just for us

2008-10-13T10:27:00.000-07:00

"Where would we stand?""Let me show you." I took his hand and walked to the metal arch on rows of pavers at the back of the lawn. I showed him his place, and he wanted to see mine. I quickly moved away so that I could walk towards him, taking my place next to him underneath the stars of pink roses. We stood there, facing each other, silently looking into one another's eyes."How will you kiss me?

I'm pissed off and not going to take it anymore

2008-09-26T06:50:00.000-07:00

This whole financial meltdown here in the United States has me stressed out. Sure, I'm already stressed out from grad school and work, but this just adds to it. The strange thing is that I know I have no personal reason to stress over this country's financial crisis. I'm not one of the masses who bought a house I couldn't afford; unlike those people, I actually put a huge down-payment on my house

Pinch me

2008-09-15T17:44:00.000-07:00

Do you ever think to yourself, "I totally must have been Mother Teresa in a past life"? I've been thinking that today. Sometimes I wonder what I've done to deserve such a great life. Don't get me wrong, I'm a pretty rockin' chick alright. It's just that I think I'm super lucky because things always have a way of working out in the end. Work is good, house is good, friends are great, family is

Reality Bites

2008-09-08T15:51:00.001-07:00

Remember that song "Wake Me Up When September Ends"? I wholeheartedly concur. Since when did this month feel so long? I mean, we just had a long weekend (here in the US)! I guess it's just the realization that I won't get another day off until the Monday before Veterans' Day.I know I sound like a whining teacher, longing for holidays off. But I've worked plenty of years in the regular ole 9-to-5

Ch ch ch changes!

2008-08-29T11:01:00.000-07:00

This week was full of changes for me. The biggest one was going back to work after taking the summer off to study. I always get nervous for the first day of school. I know it will end by the end of the week, but I'm one big ball of anxiety the few days before the start of the year. I worry about my classes, if I'll be an effective teacher, if my students and I will "click," and if they will like

RIP

2008-08-20T08:07:00.001-07:00

You were sorely missed at last night's show, LeRoi. The experience will never be the same again. Rest in peace.Celebrate we will, 'cause life is short but sweet for certain.

Being a grown-up

2008-08-18T22:53:00.000-07:00

I feel like everything I write here nowadays is simply me gushing about my boyfriend. Has my blog really become one of those? But I can't help it.A week or so ago a friend told me about the new guy she started dating. They met online and had emailed and talked on the phone for a while before they met in person. On their first date, he gave her a journal for both of them to write in to have a

Dilemma

2008-08-12T14:58:00.000-07:00

I'm not totally sure what I should do about a certain situation, so I thought I'd get advice from the whole two readers who still check this blog.My cousin is throwing her mother, my aunt, a surprise birthday party on Sunday for my aunt's 60th birthday. This is the aunt that just met JR last weekend and supports our relationship. My cousin thinks I should bring JR to the party since my cousins (

Just like a princess

2008-08-11T11:55:00.000-07:00

This is such a great time in my life right now. Granted, I'm sure the fact that I still have two weeks off before going back to work hasn't hurt my mood. But still, all my friends keep telling me that I'm always so giddy and giggly and smiling. And you know what? It's true; I'm happier than I've been in a long time.Last Saturday I had my first real party at my house. I had a BBQ to celebrate my

Blowing out the birthday candles

2008-08-07T03:58:00.001-07:00

It's so easy to forget that we're surrounded by amazing people, but hopefully everyone is as lucky as I to have people remind them on their birthday that they are not forgotten. The thing about birthdays as we get older is that gifts don't matter anymore like they did when we were kids. Now what I appreciate the most is having friends and loved ones take a moment out of their day just to wish me

The Evolution of Things

2008-07-28T11:53:00.000-07:00

The summer is beginning to come to an end. I'm measuring that, of course, by the fact that my summer school classes end after next week. I already completed the work for one class (the one online), but still have a bit of work for the one in San Diego. Thankfully I'll have a couple weeks off before I go back to work, not that I have anything planned. I don't have the money to travel anywhere this

Telling mom

2008-07-15T08:31:00.000-07:00

I don't always talk about guys with my parents. Sometimes I share that I'm dating someone, and sometimes I keep it between my friends and me. So far, this relationship has been shared with friends only. A few friends have met him (and liked him), and others have heard about it, but I haven't yet shared this relationship with my folks...until today. The plan is to talk to my mom about it sometime

Memories

2008-07-13T10:15:00.000-07:00

I lie there, watching you breathe. Your stomach, like a hill I could climb and declare my loyalty with a flag on top, gently rising and falling with each of your breaths. I turned on my back, all four feet or so of me, trying to line up my short body next to yours. I tried to make my belly rise and fall in time with yours. It was like our bodies were a band, and our breathing (along with your

Summer time and the living is easy

2008-07-06T19:38:00.000-07:00

I just can't seem to motivate myself to blog anymore. I guess I just don't want to be around a computer unless I'm working on school work (though I don't want to be around the computer then, either). I guess this is what happens after blogging for nearly four years.I'm enjoying my summer at least. Had a great trip with family in June. Working on summer school classes and making new friends there.

Hello, old friend

2008-06-11T09:44:00.000-07:00

I can tell it has been quite a while since I've written anything on this blog since it took me many tries to get signed in. My memory almost failed me. I just wanted to stop by in case anyone still actually looks at this blog to say hello and let them know I haven't fallen off the planet (darn that whole gravitational pull). I just finished out the school year this week. I traveled a bit for work

Online dating introduction...take 2!

2008-04-08T23:19:00.000-07:00

Due to the great words of wisdom/advice on the last post, I created another introduction to my dating profile. Now I just need to find some better pictures of myself to put up there. I thought I'd start with dorky ones, and then add cute ones. Anyhow, here's the new introduction. What do you all think of this one instead?(Updated to reflect changes my uncle made for me. The dude is seriously

I said I wouldn't but...

2008-04-06T22:45:00.001-07:00

I always swore I'd never do online dating. I thought I'd feel pathetic for signing up to meet men. I mean, I'm cute, smart, funny, and don't need a man's money...what's not to like? But then I realized, the only dudes I'm meeting are students, and homey don't play that.So, here's the profile I wrote to sell myself to the single men of southern California. What do you think (all two readers of you

You're the apple of my eye

2008-03-25T22:11:00.000-07:00

Sometimes my heart aches. Sometimes it stops for the briefest of moments, just long enough for me to feel anticipation for my next breath, making me aware of its power. And sometimes it weighs heavily in my chest, not from sorrow, but from being truly touched. Each time our hearts are touched, a handprint is left, adding layer after layer, like binding that helps our hearts grow stronger.Tonight

Don't leave me behind

2008-03-21T08:37:00.000-07:00

I hate those types of dreams that leave you a big sweaty mess in the morning with an ache in your belly and fear tangled up in your blankets. That's the kind of dream I had last night.I must have abandonment issues somehow. I think my biggest fear might be ending up alone. I don't mean never getting married or anything trite like that. I mean having NO ONE left in my life. Maybe this is why I

Sex machine

2008-03-19T22:26:00.000-07:00

Spring is definitely in bloom. How do I know this? It ain't the flowers, or the weather, or the blue sunny sky. Nope, it's testosterone.Men seem to be coming out from every crevice of the planet. They might even be coming out of my butt. I'm still not dating anyone, but I'm having a bit of a hard time taming some dudes around me. Maybe those birth control pills (or "whore pills") are giving off a

Reflections of Age

2008-03-05T22:57:00.000-08:00

In my younger days, I remember having older men be interested in me. No, not tons of older men, but a few who played important roles in my life. Nothing ever happened with these men; I was a good Catholic girl who was utterly and completely clueless about guys. But I remember one man in particular, Philip, who played a special role in my life.I was 17 when I first met him. It was my first time

I love this man

2008-02-27T22:18:00.001-08:00

Due to a request...

2008-02-24T21:01:00.000-08:00

Update, you ask, Miss Maria? I can do it in one breath:I'm stressed beyond belief with grad school; my day class is driving me absolutely bat-crap crazy, but I adore my night class with all my heart; I'm single once again and have been a couple weeks or so (yes, it was my doing, and no, I won't be discussing it here); I don't know how I'm going to survive until the end of the school year, but I

Be super and VOTE

2008-02-05T04:20:00.000-08:00

Don't be an idiot; if your state is part of Super Tuesday, get off your lazy ass and VOTE. And don't let anything keep you from getting in.

The L Word

2008-02-03T08:49:00.000-08:00

It's been on the tip of my tongue. It jumps around my mouth like Pop Rocks, making me smile and giggle. But it's a little magic show that only goes on when my lips are closed. My teeth and my tastebuds have all given their approval, but my lips just can't seem to open when it dances around my mouth.I say it to him every night when I lay my head down on the pillow where he sleeps when he visits. I

Going Postal

2008-01-30T13:53:00.000-08:00

I completely understand why some people climb bell towers and go postal on everyone's ass. Please keep all guns away from me.I'm already stressed out because the new semester of graduate school started. Last semester I only took one class so I could get used to things. This semester I am taking two classes. I haven't gotten used to this new schedule of mine, and my body seems to want to release

He's not The Dude, he's The Boyfriend

2008-01-29T16:53:00.000-08:00

Who knew fighting was so good for me?Every relationship hits a turning point. In the beginning, only the good and idyllic are seen by the participants. It's easy to focus on your partner's wonderful qualities and not give proper focus to the negative. But we all have negative qualities. Sometimes it takes a fight for those traits to be revealed.When The Boyfriend blew me off last weekend, I was

Mars meet Venus, Venus meet Mars

2008-01-21T23:27:00.000-08:00

Maybe that annoying dude was right: men and women just might be from different planets.It seems like just moments ago when things were blissfully going along. Just this weekend I had countless relatives tell me at a family function how good I was looking. Nearly all said that I was "glowing." Of course, by the fourth person I was starting to wonder just how bad I normally look. My mom would chime

Whore medicine

2008-01-14T22:13:00.000-08:00

Today I took a sick day from work, not for any illness and not to get out of work (though that was an added benefit), but because I had a doctor's appointment. I called before the holidays to get an appointment with my doctor, and the girl scheduling me said I was due for a pap smear. Oh, the blessed pap smear. I'm at my sexiest when my feet are in stirrups and a plastic clamp is up my vagina. So

2008

2008-01-02T00:26:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to anyone who wanders through these parts. Let's hope the years just keep getting better. Don't burn the day...

Thirtysomething dating

2007-12-17T22:34:00.000-08:00

Dating in one's thirties is a totally different ball game than dating in one's twenties. I mean, we're talking cricket to basketball, people. I never realized this until I met the Dude.In our twenties, people don't think as deeply about the long term. Sure, they think about it. I sure did. But it's a different way of thinking than it is in our thirties. Meet a new guy who is really great? Let's

The morning after

2007-12-14T09:44:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd screwed things up. I thought things would be awkward. That we'd be pleasant and cordial, but that he'd pull away from me. It was only a week ago that both moments happened: I asked him "the question," and then a couple days later a strange guy called him in a drunken stupor, telling him to take me off the market or the drunk guy would. That's not exactly the best way to entice a man

Learning the Truth

2007-12-05T00:32:00.000-08:00

I put out my hand and twisted the knob. I stood for a moment, frozen, wondering if I really wanted to know what stood behind the door. I'd seen flashes of it through the small window at the top of the door frame, but not enough to have a clear picture. But I needed to know.Slowly I turned, twisting my wrist subtly without sound. I peeked my head in, but it was dark. I gently stepped inside,

A whole new world

2007-12-04T15:44:00.000-08:00

Oh what an difference an afternoon can make.I just finished writing the second of two papers that are due tomorrow, and I feel about a thousand pounds lighter. Perspective is once again becoming my friend as she helps to lighten my path so I can continue my journey.When I'm upset, I usually try to keep it to myself. I don't mean keep it inside and bury it; I definitely need to let it out. I mean

Fa la la la...NOT

2007-12-03T22:15:00.000-08:00

Stress has a bad way of making me think things are so much worse than they are. I make a big deal out of nothing, and the littlest things set me off. I've been stressed out this week (and last), and things won't be easing up until at least this Friday. I keep telling myself to just make it through the week, but sometimes it doesn't seem possible.Because I'm already feeling crabby and edgy, I

Three years wasted

2007-11-27T21:55:00.000-08:00

I happened to look at a calendar this evening to see what today's date is, and it didn't even dawn on me that this is the third year anniversary of my blog. Happy birthday blog!Three years, eh? So strange. I'm completely depleted from my day, so let me look in the archives to see what I said about past blogiversaries to cheat and reuse them here. In fact, let's reuse the post from my first

Lucky

2007-11-26T20:02:00.000-08:00

Sometimes people come into our lives and stay with us until our dying day. Sometimes they sneak in and out faster than we can see the profound impact they've made on who we are. And sometimes we don't even notice.I've been thinking lately of the people in my life, the ones who are priceless to me. I often wonder what amazing things I must have done in my sleep (or in a past life if we have them)

Quick dude update

2007-11-21T08:13:00.000-08:00

And this time he left at 8:00. He was supposed to be at work at 7:00, but luckily mentioned to his boss that he might be late today. (He may not get there until 10:00.)This time was definitely different from last time. In many, many ways. Much more open and honest, even more fun, and plenty of other things that I probably won't share. He finally knows that I really dig him, and I'm certain the

Traffic sucks

2007-11-20T21:30:00.000-08:00

He's on the freeway right now, inching his way closer and closer. I offered to go out there so he could avoid the traffic (far less traffic heading towards him), but he wanted to come here. I feel so bad that he's enduring it, but so excited to see him. And he still has to work tomorrow. He's crazy; my ass wouldn't have traveled like that (and so late) on a work night.I totally need to make it up

Our Lady of Wine: Pray for Us Sinners

2007-11-16T00:59:00.000-08:00

What's the best thing in the whole fucking world? Ending a really stressful week. I'm sitting here with a nearly empty bottle of wine from my last trip to Maui, and feeling really truly happy for the first time all week because the work week is over (if you don't count my Saturday class...which I don't). Or maybe wine just makes everything better.I've noticed something about myself tonight. Even

Les Details

2007-11-12T11:15:00.000-08:00

Hours and hours of traffic, falling asleep while waiting for his arrival. Directions spoken over many minutes, exploring the landscape together, but separately, through the telephone. A knock on the door at 10:45, butterflies swirling around uncontrollably. Smiles, hugs, nervousness. He is more attractive than in my memory. The presentation of presents. Uncorking wine and sipping a little bit of

So, how was the date, you ask?

2007-11-10T07:20:00.001-08:00

Well, he left my house at 7:00 in the morning, so that should say something.(And NO sex was involved, thankyouverymuch.)Details to follow. I need to sleep.

The Dude

2007-11-08T22:38:00.000-08:00

I'm realizing a lot about myself thanks to the new dude in my life. For example, I get freaked out very easily. It's a defense mechanism, really. When someone tries to get really close to me and I'm not quite ready, I start overanalyzing things and want to run far away.I really need to just allow dudes to be in to me.It's been a while since I've had someone like me more than I liked him. On the

Soap for my brain

2007-11-05T20:57:00.000-08:00

Did your parents ever tell you they'd wash you mouth out with soap if you said something bad as a child? Mine did, though I was such a perfect angel they never had to do anything like that.Well, I need soap...for my brain.Fortunately my thoughts aren't escaping my lips, but I can't get some thoughts out of my head.In particular, thoughts about my 28 year old Brazilian student who spent an hour

English as a Second Fucking Language

2007-11-04T20:50:00.000-08:00

I think I've fallen in love.Our proven method is simple and to the point: We won't deal with complex grammatical matters--such as irregular verbs. When someone tells you: "I butt-fucked a goat," it should be obvious that such an action is irregular. Just ignore it.It's not often I walk to the mailbox and am surprised. It's not often I walk there and am amused. It's also not often I walk to the

Literary Imposter

2007-10-31T17:33:00.000-07:00

Confessions. I love them when it is other people who admit their shameful secrets, but it is often hard to admit one's own. Of course, they wouldn't be shameful otherwise. This evening I was reading through Slate's article on literary works that famous authors (or at least published authors) had never read but normally don't confess this omission.I loved every last word of this article.I have a

Ins and Outs

2007-10-30T14:23:00.000-07:00

Out: Sickness. Last week I got so bad I had to take two days off (Thursday night and Saturday morning). I NEVER use sick time. I hate having a substitute in my classroom, but sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. It was awesome. And now I'm all better, minus the boogers.In: A boy. Well, a man. Naw, a boy. OK, let's go with a "dude." Yea, that's better.Out: Stressing about work and

What happens in Vegas...

2007-10-22T20:49:00.000-07:00

Well, I can share one detail of this weekend's trip to Vegas for a girls' getaway. Men, let me give you a piece of advice, if I may. When out at a bar with live musicians (say, for example, a dueling piano bar) and a young woman has been standing near the back singing and dancing all night long without a single thought of what anyone else in the room thinks, do not--I repeat, DO NOT--walk past

Proof that I am mental

2007-10-15T20:56:00.000-07:00

Here is an email I randomly sent to a friend a few days ago. Adventurous plans are now in progress!KC,The other night I heard a sound in the middle of the night. I slowly woke and twisted my head to hear better. It was coming from my closet. I listened more carefully, trying to decipher what the noise was. It sounded like a whimper, but I don't have any pets. "What could it be?" I thought to

Good try, my boys

2007-10-07T19:45:00.001-07:00

Angel helmet Originally uploaded by Open Up My Head You gave it your best effort, but too many of you were beaten before you got to show your stuff in the playoffs. You did well, kids. Even though you were slammed hard in the end, at least you made it this far. Here's to another great season next year.

Missing you

2007-10-07T19:33:00.001-07:00

The warm breezes. The technicolor sunsets.The sea turtles. The educated fishies (get it, a school of fish? HA!)Soft sand between my toes. Oh Maui, how I miss thee. I think I need to do a beach run next weekend to remember you fondly. Although SoCal beaches suck compared to Hawaii, I'll always have a special place in my heart for Laguna Beach.

Update: I am a nutjob

2007-10-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

I thought long and hard about all the questions you all asked me in response to my dilemma in my last post. I can't thank you enough for the support and suggestions and questions. I spent countless hours thinking about the best way to handle things, and I've come to a conclusion: I'm keeping things the way they are.On Thursday I went to lunch with a colleague who is about 20 years older, but also

I don't know what to do

2007-10-03T17:01:00.000-07:00

I hate making decisions. I am horribly indecisive when faced with big choices. And I have a big decision to make.What it all comes down to is the fact that I'm unhappy. I feel stuck. I want out of this town, though I have no idea where I want to live. I want a job with better hours, but I can't get the type of job I want until I finish this damn Masters. I want to enjoy life more fully, but I am

The beauty of imperfection

2007-10-01T17:49:00.000-07:00

I am flawed. I am imperfect. And this world is imperfect, too. You know how I know this? Because you are imperfect as well. And it is there, hiding in the layers of these imperfections, that beauty exists.I've always loved the word "grace." Grace can be the movement of a skilled dancer gliding across the room. Grace can be the humility shown when one has faltered. And grace can be the bond that

Something's in the air

2007-09-12T23:02:00.000-07:00

The big one is coming.Get your mind out of the gutter, folks. I'm talking earthquakes. We had two--yes, I said two--earthquakes this morning, both located in the same general vicinity close to my house. People have long spoken of "earthquake weather," a mythical notion that all this fun shaking could be predicted by a lick of the finger waved in the air. While I'm not so sure about earthquake

Earthquakes, and spiders, and laziness...oh my!

2007-09-03T20:27:00.000-07:00

Apparently I love my nightgown.A lot.You see, I'm wearing it right now. Sure, the evening found its way into my home somehow, so bed attire seems appropriate. Except, the thing is, it was my day attire as well. I felt it was so fashionable last night that I decided to keep it on all day long as well.Good thing I didn't sleep naked.I don't usually sleep naked. Have I ever? Um, hello, I'm 32. I

Things I'll miss about summer

2007-08-26T13:25:00.000-07:00

Sleeping in until whenever I wantWearing the same outfit two days in a row (ok, I admit, sometimes it was three days)Renting movies and having movie marathons with my momHaving days when I stay in my jammies all dayVacationsFeeling truly relaxedNever fully knowing where each day would take meLeaving the alarm clock offGoing for super long walks since there was nothing else taking my timeBeing a

Back to school

2007-08-26T12:44:00.000-07:00

I have a pattern, a pattern of odd stress. No matter how long I've done something, when it comes to start it again I always freak out and build up stress for weeks. Once a couple weeks or so pass, all the stress and tears and freak-outs and worry melt away.That's what I've been going through. Although this is my fourth year teaching ESL at my school, I'm in the middle of stress mode. My face is

Hello, how are you doing today? I hope I find you feeling healthy.

2007-08-19T23:19:00.001-07:00

Well, fancy seeing you here. Since you showed up, I guess I should pretend I have something to say.I've been swamped...in a good way. We did two trips up to the Santa Barbara, California region recently. The second trip was to buy a house. Sadly, no house was purchased. The area, just two blocks from the beach, was in such a ghetto area that I didn't even think I'd survive going to work in the

The Great Escape

2007-08-11T11:28:00.000-07:00

We sat there, looking one another in the eye. Did I blink? There's something about the moment before, when innocence is still alive, penetrating the air. But innocence is undoubtedly lost. I'd look in the Lost and Found closet, but I'm certain Innocence isn't hiding there. Innocence is forever gone.The alcohol lingered in my body, swimming its way through my veins, trying to reach what was trying

Burn me baby

2007-08-09T22:53:00.000-07:00

I've finally found my future husband: him. Oh yes, it is love.Now, I'm not beyond stalking. After all, sometimes it takes some hard work to get noticed. Besides, I'm a woman who gets what she wants.

I'm maui'ed to Maui

2007-08-07T17:44:00.000-07:00

Eight days. Good lord, eight days. If you're enduring Chinese water torture, well, eight days can seem like an eternity. This is definitely not the case if you're in Maui. Eight days is far too short a time when you are (possibly literally) walking through heaven. You want to know what god sounds like? Listen to the waves on the Maui shore and you'll know without a doubt what benevolence is.And

I'm off again

2007-07-28T08:35:00.000-07:00

Early tomorrow morning I'll be on a plane to this place:(that's a Maui sunset from 2003)I know, it sucks to be me. I will be returning early in the morning on August 6th, the most awesomest day of the whole entire year...at least to me. I'll let you wonder why I think that. I'm not bringing my laptop (only my cell), so I'll be out of contact. Besides, I'll be too busy swimming in salt water to

Twenty-something girls VS thirty-something women

2007-07-24T10:20:00.000-07:00

Last night I had an epiphany. I went to an Angels baseball game with two twenty-something girls. While it was heartbreaking watching my beloved Angels get pounded on like a weakling in a pack of wolves, it was even stranger to converse with these two girls.Lately I've caught myself reminiscing without noticing. A random memory will suddenly float through my brain and, for that brief moment, I'll

Pain

2007-07-20T08:54:00.000-07:00

Ouch. I'm nearly 32 years old, so I should know better. But it doesn't stop it from hurting any less.Yesterday I experienced two painful events. I hate when pain doubles up on me. It's never a pleasant outcome.I spent the day up in the mountains at the lake. It was nice to have a change of scenery. I frolicked in my bathing suit in the freezing water. I sat in my chair watching the boats pass me

More road trip adventures

2007-07-15T02:49:00.000-07:00

We ended up staying in upstate New York for about a week. Part of that time it was just my parents and I, and then my Aunt Kathy flew in to join us on the second half of our trip. Kathy is a high maintenance women, but she sure surprised me on this trip. Let's put it this way: she got her hair wet in public TWICE and didn't complain. She was a trooper for sure.Pictures in New York:Standing in the

Because all the cool kids are doing it

2007-07-11T07:24:00.001-07:00

The lovely Airam has created a Simpsons avatar for me. I think she's quite cute if I do say so myself. Boy do I wish life really could be lived in the Simpsons world.

Home sweet home

2007-07-10T20:17:00.000-07:00

Back in SoCal. I can't wait to sleep in my own bed tonight. It's so odd to think that just this morning I was waking up in Cedar City, Utah before stopping off in Vegas for a little gambling. Now I have a couple weeks to recuperate before going to Maui for a week. I know, life is rough.Pictures and commentary will be up soon. And boy do I have a ton of pictures (we're talking hundreds and

Road trip continues

2007-07-08T21:22:00.000-07:00

Hi gang. I promise to have another post up with pictures of my adventures. I've been slacking on moving my pictures from my digital cameras to my laptop to upload. I'll stop being lazy and get on it soon.We're back in Colorado tonight. We stayed in upstate NY for about a week or a little more. I can honestly say that I'm grateful I went. Some of you know what I'm talking about, some don't. Just

Eight little things

2007-07-03T22:57:00.000-07:00

Chimmy has tagged me with a blog thingie, and only because it is he will I share these eight facts about me. But first, I'm supposed to post these three things (not to be included with "thingies"):1. Post the rules, then list eight things about yourself.2. At the end of the post, tag and link to eight other people.3. Leave a comment at those sites, letting them know they've been tagged, and

Road trip Days 5-7

2007-06-27T22:03:00.000-07:00

Hello again peeps! I haven't taken too many pictures the last few days so I don't have much to post. But, I figure, something is better than nothing.Day 5 (Sunday): Minneapolis, MN to South Bend, IndianaI did a ton of driving this day, so I don't have too many pictures to show for our adventures. We left Minnesota early to get a jump start on the long day. I've been to Wisconsin before (camping

Road trip Day 5: long ago home

2007-06-25T06:03:00.000-07:00

Sunday we spent the day in Minneapolis, MN, the city my mom lived in as a little girl before heading west to California. It was an interesting experience. The thing about people from this area is that most are super friendly. (And, of course, they all have funny accents.) Seriously, Minnesota breeds some hot men. Who knew? I sure didn't. We got lost many times, so my mom stopped various strangers

Road trip Day 4: I haven't gone postal...yet

2007-06-23T22:22:00.000-07:00

Back for another addition of Megan Does the US! Here we go with some pictures of Minnesota (where we're staying tonight and possibly tomorrow). I didn't take too many today, so there's not much to show. We ended up taking lots of back roads trying to find various sights, but it ended up being mostly all of the same thing. Did you know that most of the US is made up of flat, boring-ass land? Yep,

Road trip: Day 3 quickie

2007-06-22T22:45:00.000-07:00

I seem to be all for quickies lately. Not my usual style. I guess traveling gets me feeling...well...like moving around.Today was another long day, but filled with interesting sights and unexpected adventures. We traveled through Northeast Colorado to the middle of South Dakota (in the middle of nowhere). Here are some glimpses...(Again, these pics haven't been touched up or edited yet due to

Road trip: Day 1 and 2 quickie post

2007-06-21T21:51:00.000-07:00

Hola kiddies! I've survived two days of driving cross the good ole U S of A. Without wifi in the room, it is a pain in the ass to do blog posts. So, here's a quickie from the hotel lobby. (Damn those ethernet cables!)Day 1: from southern Cali to the land of MormonsWe covered a lot of area our first day. The desert of southern California and Nevada (with some gambling for good measure) with a

Surprise

2007-06-20T00:31:00.001-07:00

Gift from my students Originally uploaded by Open Up My Head The end of the graduation ceremony for my ESL students was upon us. Before I could dismiss the audience, my principal stopped me to say he had an announcement. I arched my eyebrow at him (particularly because he'd been quite cheeky with me all morning). He asked a couple students to come up to the stage where I was standing.

Dude, road trip!

2007-06-16T09:32:00.000-07:00

The end of the year is coming to a close (um...the school year, not the calendar year, obviously). This means that for every teacher out there, piles and piles of to-do lists are being generated and plowed through. I've finished the majority of my own list, thankyouverymuch. It also means there hasn't been much time for blogging, but I think that's obvious enough.I not only have loose ends to tie

Written for my students

2007-06-10T08:41:00.000-07:00

Brad Pitt. Julia Roberts. Antonio Banderas. What do these people have that I don’t? Sure, they have fame (and let’s not forget money), but I have something infinitely better than anything they have: I have a job that affords me the opportunity to spend my days with some of the most amazing people on the planet—my students. Every morning I wake up

Single in the suburbs

2007-05-31T15:14:00.000-07:00

(alternately titled "Where the Boys Are")It's tough being a single girl in a town full of married people. Although the majority of my friends are single, it's tough meeting men who are lady-less. Since I'm not the type of girl who digs a man with a ring on his finger or a woman on his arm, I'm left in a bit of a predicament. I haven't resigned myself to online dating yet. I just can't do it (and

No wonder the world hates us

2007-05-30T14:44:00.000-07:00

Years ago the British were the ones who were hated around the world due to their imperialist ways. But today, it is the Americans who have gained the title of "Most Hated" around the world. After September 11th, 2001 countless Americans had their eyes opened to just how much the world hates us. The biggest question they asked was "Why?"And I have the answer: it's because of crap like this. Not

I've done gone become illiterate

2007-05-29T22:58:00.000-07:00

I think I've done gone become illiterate.I hadn't enjoyed a book in ages. Sure, I've been reading, but how fun are language acquisition texts? (Answer hint: not very.) As far as reading for that wild and crazy thing called "pleasure," I hadn't done that in ages.This weekend I dusted off a couple of Barnes and Noble gift cards and decided to head out for some shopping of some of them there book

Breaking the mold

2007-05-25T10:04:00.000-07:00

"God broke the mold when he made you."Smiling at me, these words slipped from my principal's lips yesterday in the middle of a bocce ball tournament when the team from my ESL class was playing his team for the championship title. I gave him my usual reaction, a half giggle with a side of awkward smile. Why did I give him such a reaction?I didn't know what the hell that meant.My first thought

Guest Post by Brandon

2007-04-16T23:42:00.000-07:00

You know the kind of people who use big words, the kind of big words that force you to go to dictionary.com because you're too lazy to go find the old paper dictionary you have lying around the house somewhere in a vague and nearly forgotten place that you're sure you'll remember some time before you die? Well, there's one person I know who uses such words, and that's Brandon of the (former) blog

Farewell, my friends

2007-04-12T09:00:00.000-07:00

I gotta be honest: I'm just not feeling it. You'd be crazy not to notice. Everything I write is drivel after all. I need to take a break from us. You're still wonderful and special, but I still need some time apart. It's not you; it's me.So, consider this blog on hold until further notice.

Those were NOT tears

2007-04-10T14:16:00.000-07:00

I would like to state, for the record, that I did NOT in fact cry while watching Charlotte's Web a moment ago. No, those weren't tears on my cheeks. Rather, I simply had something in my eye. After all, a grown-up would not cry over a children's movie. Sure, I remember crying when reading the book as a child, but I did not, in fact, repeat that action with the film.No I didn't.Damn, that movie

Spring Break

2007-04-05T20:46:00.001-07:00

Two of the most awesomest words in the English language: Spring Break. I'm on it. Now. Werd.

Translating the ordinary

2007-04-04T13:36:00.000-07:00

It's funny how interpretation varies so much.Take a simple email. Have several people read it, and you're bound to come up with several different variations on the connotation. We could even say the same thing about a person's actions. The intention can be interpreted in various ways unless you speak directly to the person doing the acting.Now, let's go back to this email. Let's say this email is

I'm finally logged back in

2007-03-31T11:12:00.000-07:00

Goodness gracious! What a pain in the ass it is to be locked out of your Gmail account with the new blogger! I had to wait 5 days before I could change the password (which is actually the same one I had before), but I'm finally here. That's all that matters.The funny thing about traveling is that it can bring such clarity. Being surrounded by people in my own profession helped show me not only

Audi 5000

2007-03-19T13:21:00.000-07:00

Alright gang, I'll be gone for a couple of weeks. One week in rainy Seattle for a conference (that's this week), and another in Los Angeles to evaluate another school's accreditation status (I'll be drunk with power). So, I won't be around. My goal upon my return is to get back into hanging around this place. It hasn't felt homey to me in a while, and I need to change that.I hope you're all doing

St. Patrick's Day dilemma

2007-03-17T08:29:00.000-07:00

St. Patrick's Day: the hardest day of the year for an Irish Catholic.You see, Catholics are in the Lenten season, smack dab in the heart of it. This is the season of preparation (spiritually, emotionally, physically) for the Easter holiday. The general rule of thumb is no meat on Fridays (minus the bit of chicken I forgot was in my Lean Cuisine I ate for lunch yesterday), and to either give up

Playing hookie

2007-03-06T18:07:00.000-08:00

Shhhhh. Don't tell anyone. I played hookie today.I stress out pretty easily. Well, that's not an accurate description of me. I'm really laid back, but I can get myself worked up and overwhelmed when I take on too many things in my life. It's the culmination of the overwhelming feelings that leads me to stress the fuck out.And last night I stressed the fuck out.I had a midterm last night in my

YOU

2007-03-02T20:12:00.000-08:00

Because of you, I learned:that trying to hide a snort only makes it harder to stop laughing.that I am smarter than I ever gave myself credit for.how to debate the undebatable.that hope for one thing carries over into hope for so much more.that hope is wonderful.I am so much more optimistic than I ever knew.it is ok to share my secrets.I won't always be judged for the actions of others.that true