I feel like everything I write here nowadays is simply me gushing about my boyfriend. Has my blog really become one of those? But I can't help it.

A week or so ago a friend told me about the new guy she started dating. They met online and had emailed and talked on the phone for a while before they met in person. On their first date, he gave her a journal for both of them to write in to have a record of their relationship. I was surprised to hear that a man would do this, but thought it was quite romantic. I asked JR if he would be willing to record our experiences in a joint journal, and he agreed. I honestly don't think he was thrilled about it when I first told him, but he knew it would make me happy so he complied. I bought one and started writing in it last week. I've been reminiscing about when we were just friends, and also thinking about the present. Tonight we talked about it and he let me know he had a plan for how he wanted to do the journal. Since I started writing already, he wanted to write from the back so that one day our journey would join in the middle. I hadn't planned on doing it that way, but I decided to let go of my desire to control things and simply be thankful that he was willing to write. We came to a conclusion of two rules: 1) it's freewriting, so anything goes; 2) we won't read what the other person writes at this point in time so we can be as free and open as possible. I personally didn't have a problem with him reading my entries now, but I could tell that he felt he would be much more open if he knew I wouldn't read them just yet. Again, I have to cut the dude some slack for agreeing to keep a relationship journal in the first place. Not too many guys would do this. I did say, however, that I didn't want us to wait until we filled up all the pages before we read what the other person wrote. He agreed to that. Dang it's going to be hard for me not to read it. Fortunately he'll be writing in his native language, so it will be difficult for me to read anyhow.

Since Maria asked about Sunday, let me update about that. I was nervous about JR meeting my parents since my mom has chosen to ignore our relationship (I think she believes that if we don't talk about it, then it doesn't exist). I asked him if he was nervous, and he said no. What a liar. haha He got to my house late, so I had a brief moment of fear thinking he changed his mind and things were over. (Yes, I have a flair for the dramatic.) When he arrived, we were both pretty quiet. My cousin called a couple times to find out where we were since the party was a surprise for my aunt. I was worried about getting there before my aunt did. Luckily we made it. My parents, however, did not. I introduced JR to my relatives that were there at the party (not many of them were there). He's a quiet guy, more introverted and introspective than me. (OK, so I can be a loudmouth; I admit it.) But he was particularly quiet on this day. My aunt, the birthday girl, was happy to see that I brought him. My parents showed up eventually. My mom did come over to introduce herself to him. I overheard her telling my dad to do the same to my "friend," but he felt awkward about the circumstances. Eventually we all made our way outside. My parents joined our table once food was served. JR didn't say a word. I had told him he could grab a beer if he wanted, but he refused. I think he remembered me saying that my parents don't drink, so he didn't want to make a bad impression since my mom already didn't like him. While my dad didn't formally introduce himself, he did make lots of eye contact with JR while we sat and chit-chatted. I know my dad well enough to know that this means he was trying to include JR and isn't bothered by things, and this was his way of being friendly. Later we all went inside to sing "happy birthday" and eat cake. The older people went back outside after singing. JR and I stayed inside, so he got to know a couple of my cousins a bit better. He started loosening up once it was just the younger people inside the house. We decided to leave since the cousin he already knew had left about half an hour earlier. I approached my mom to tell her and hugged her, so she went over to tell JR it was nice to meet him and shake his hand. We made our way around the room saying goodbye. My dad approached us and talked to us for a moment, paying particular attention to JR. It's moments like this that my dad totally surprises me. Maybe men in general are just more laid back than women, I don't know. But I was very pleasantly surprised to see him make that effort with JR. My dad doesn't even make that much effort with me sometimes!

I haven't talked to my parents since they met JR. I'm sure I'll see them sometime before my mom's birthday on Saturday. No matter what happens, I feel like I can hold my head up high and be proud of myself. I think I've behaved unusually mature during this whole experience. I tried to be honest with my mom about JR when I first told her about him. Then on Saturday I told her that I would be bringing him so she would have a "heads up" and not be caught off-guard at the party. And I haven't talked about him when I'm with her or at their house to respect her feelings about the situation. But I came to a point where I realized that I needed to be treated with respect as well. I will not be hiding my relationship anymore just because he's not the kind of guy my mom would pick for me. JR is an important part of my life, and I will honor that. By trying to respect my mother, I'm disrespecting my boyfriend and myself. I'm a 33 year old woman. I happen to be in love with a man who would do anything in the world to make me happy. I'm old enough to know what is most important in a relationship, and the way I'm treated is number one. So, no matter what my mom feels about things (and she may very well have changed her mind on the issue for all I know), I will honor myself and JR. He and I face some challenges in the future (as do all couples), but at least we know what these challenges are and we're being smart about them. One day my mom will realize that I am not an idiot, that I can think for myself and make good decisions, and that I'm truly happy. But I won't simply be quiet until that day comes.