AKA "Just say no"

Last time I checked I still had a vagina, but somehow I need to pay close attention because I seem to be growing some balls that weren't there before. It's a great feeling having balls, though, so I might end up playing with them a bit. Anyone up for tennis?

Maybe all those nonstop hours teaching wore the "always nice" side out of me. If so, then that was time well spent. Maybe it's because I'm getting older and I don't care what other people think about me much anymore. Whatever the reason, I am truly proud of myself, and I have two great reasons to be.

Take yesterday, for example. Over the course of the workday, both of my assistant principals approached me, hitting me up for more classes to teach. One even tried to get me to leave the other department in order to have all of my classes in ESL. (I could really use that against her one of these days, but I'll keep that card in my hand until the game gets close.) When that AP first approached me, she begged me to teach ESL at night. She said she would kick out the current advanced level teacher in order for me to have that class in my own room and she'd figure out what to do with the other teacher. I knew I'd feel badly for that, and I told her so. Then she tried to offer me extra hours to convince me to agree. I told her I'd think about it, but she said she needed an answer by the next day (today). I agreed to call her by that evening.

I had a few moments before subbing in the other department and I tossed around this idea in my head. Then I remembered: I will probably be teaching at the junior college soon, so I need to keep those nights open! My dilemma was instantly solved, and I called that boss to tell her the situation about the theater teaching gig.

One problem down. I was starting to think this "saying no" stuff was pretty darn easy!

Shortly thereafter my other boss called me and said she'd be up right away to talk to me. I hate when people say that and don't tell you what it is regarding. I was heading over to the copy machine in the back of the room when she walked in, so she followed me. Apparently some other teacher shuffling was going on (hmmm...the "teacher shuffle"...I should turn that into a board game), and one of the English courses that I cowrote now needed a teacher. She begged me to teach it. Without a moment's pause the word "NO" slipped from my lips, to her ears, and I never even blinked. I then turned to the copy machine and made my copy. She didn't move or say a word. I think she was in shock. I then simply said that I'm overbooked as it is right now, but I appreciated the offer.

Hot damn! Not just one ball but two! I'm going to have to start wearing boxer shorts.

Then yesterday my breaking point hit with a particular student. He would attend my class but never do anything I assigned. Instead, he would read his own books or copy passages from the encyclopedia word for word in his notebook. He wouldn't participate in any activities (and I do a lot of group work), but he still kept coming to class. One day about a month ago I asked him to stop what he was doing and take part in the group discussion. His expression instantly changed and he exploded at me, refusing to do any work. We're talking, I seriously thought the dude was going to go Columbine on my ass. The other students were stunned, and I didn't know how to respond. I know I made a facial expression showing my disbelief, but I carried on the class without saying anything further to him. Now, remember, these are all adults who are taking free classes at our school. They do not get credit of any kind for these classes, so there is no point to be there except to learn. My lack of response had been bothering me since that day and I kept trying to speak with him. He would always leave class before the breaktime and I kept missing him. Today (our last day of summer session) I determined to finally do something about it.

I was so pumped in the morning, knowing I would have "the talk" with him. I'm usually terrified of confrontation, but I was really looking forward to this in a strange way. After class had begun, I kept looking at the door waiting for him to enter, but he never did. I was beginning to think it would be an anti-climatic ending to the summer. Near the end of class I decided to have some fun with the students and play Vocabulary Bingo. We were all getting in to the game and I didn't even notice this student walk in to class in the middle of the laughter. Once I finally noticed, I called another trustworthy student to come do my job of reading the words to the class. I found Mr. Trouble lying on the floor, furiously writing in his notebook. I leaned down and told him I needed to speak with him outside. He followed me and I told him to sit down at one of the picnic tables under a nearby tree. I sat across from him, looked him in the eye and began.

I won't go into what I said, but I informed him that his classroom demeanor was rude and inappropriate and that I wouldn't tolerate it further in my classroom. I basically said that he had two choices: he could either come to class on Tuesday for the first day of the school year and participate fully in all assignments or not return at all. Those were his only two options. I did bring up the Angry Columbine moment, too. He apologized for that and acknowledged that he remembered it clearly and felt badly. I remained stern, but accepted his apology. He said that he wouldn't be returning to class, but that he was glad we had our talk.

I'm not sure what exactly it is that has given me my confidence back, but whatever it is, I don't want it to stop. I guess I'm finally realizing that I'm damn good at what I do and others need to respect me for that. Besides, there are always things that need to be done in adult education, so my bosses will be back again, begging for me to take on other tasks. I've always been able to see other people's situation and stand up for them; it feels awesome that I'm now doing that for myself too.

Being thirty is so much better than I ever imagined.